Hey everyone,

I'm not quite sure how to open this first blog since I haven't written a "real" blog in over year. Right now I can't sleep, so I'm writing this and listening to some Lamb of God circa "As The Palaces Burn" -- my favorite album by them. As some of you know, who follow me on Twitter or are friends with me on Facebook, I was scheduled to interview Chris Adler (Lamb of God) last Wednesday. I was really looking forward to the interview, especially since LoG are one of my most favorite bands, right under Pantera! I was up nearly all night because my mind kept racing with questions I wanted to add to the list, usually my best questions come out from my mind, which is convoluted chaos at that time of night.

Anyway, for those who know my history with my voice (if not, read my about me section!), I have a lot of voice issues. Ever since I got it back in 2003, I've been fine up until these last two and a half years where my voice has gone in and out way too many times. The last time my voice went out for a pretty lengthy period of time was December '09 to June '10...So 6 months without it. I had to go to Salt Lake City again to get it back again. I thought I'd be fine again for at least another 5 years or so... Well, it's kept going in and out repeatedly since then. And of course, it went out about a week before my LoG interview. I figured it would come back, but I woke up the morning of and it was still gone. I thought I could still pull off the interview since I did just that with Mark Hunter of Chimaira a few weeks ago... He seemed to could understand me pretty well, there were a few times he couldn't, but we made it work. So I was hoping Chris would be able to understand me too.

10:00AM rolled around, which was my interview time. I called Chris, I had my mom first tell him what was going on with my voice and to see if that would be fine with him... So once I got on the phone, we tried, and it was just too muffled over the phone. We decided that it would be better to do it another day, either when my voice comes back or when Chris is in a quieter place.

So of course I was a little bummed that day, reality kind of hit me all at once, the issue with my voice just kept trying to weigh me down. I tried to go to sleep for a few hours, wake up before 3PM so I could get ready to go to my gym and do MMA and Jiu Jitsu training. My mind wouldn't allow me to sleep, no matter what. So I just laid there until around 3PM. Once I got up from just laying there, I was so tired, but I still headed to my gym anyway. I wanted to go there and release some energy, make me feel better.

The gym always makes me feel better, it's one of those places where I'm always reminded walking in or walking out that I'm one step closer to my dream of becoming a professional wrestler. It's been my dream since I was 9 years old and I haven't let that dream die. My passion for wrestling is far deeper than anything I've ever had passion for in my life; it's my escape, it's what I eat, sleep, breathe, dream, bleed... It's my happiness, my fire that burns inside, it makes me feel ALIVE. When people say they have that passion that burns within them, I know what they mean because I can feel my passion eternally ignited, every time I watch it, it seems to burn more intensely, every time I'm around it, whether it be attending a WWE event or being part of the show at Dragon Gate USA, it consumes me, I'm in a different world, a world where I feel and know it is truly where I belong. Wrestling was what would be my escape from sadness and pain when I was younger going through my voice loss throughout elementary/middle school.

With that said, my gym, which has been AMAZING to me, that I actually found through wrestling, has been my escape lately from the frustrations of not having my voice again. American Top Team Altitude is the best gym that I could ever dream of. Even though I'm not training in professional wrestling there, I'm doing MMA and Jiu Jitsu training. I've been going 4-5 days per week, sometimes even twice a day... If any of you who live in the Denver, CO area, I urge you, if you're wanting to get into shape, or wanting to learn MMA, Jiu Jitsu, Muay Thai, boxing, etc etc etc, stop by the gym and take a class and tell them "The Scream Queen" sent you. :-)

I cannot say enough good things about that gym and the trainers there. They are absolutely amazing there. It's the only place I can go right now, where I can forget everything that's going on in my life for those 2-3 hours I'm there every night and be free. I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to being a wrestler. It gives me a newfound hope that I've never felt before. I'm working towards my dream. I'm doing everything in my power to get there. It's almost like my sense are reawakening, every time I get punched, kicked, randomly hit, or feel something random hurting, I can truly feel it, I can truly embrace every single bruise I get, every pain I feel, every pulled muscle, etc. Even though it hurts, it's an amazing feeling at the same time. I'm not sure how to describe it. Maybe some of you know what I mean? The gym is my drug. I am so thankful I found it and I'm so thankful for what everyone there has taught me these last few months.

I'm sure some of you have seen that I've uploaded my interview with Maria Brink of In This Moment! I have to say that was one of my favorite interviews of that chaotic day at the Mayhem Fest! She was so sweet and very deep with her answers, which I always love it when artists are like that. Frost from 1349 and Satyricon was probably the deepest person I've interviewed. That's probably my most favorite interview I've conducted thus far. His answers were so intriguing and interesting to me. I could not wait to transcribe it, just so I could listen to it again! It was kind of a learning experience almost. Maria's interview had some instances like that, she was very inspiring and definitely made you think about life in a different way. I hope more artists I interview in the future will be deep and open with me, I always love to get to know the artist's mind, not just the outer shell.

Now that it's 2:45AM, I'm starting to get a bit tired, and I need to get some sleep so my muscles can heal and I can be at the gym later today! :-)

I'll be writing another blog soon, maybe this weekend, maybe tomorrow... I'll definitely be writing regularly, so I can let everyone know what's going on with new interviews and whatnot! (Which by the way, I'll be uploading my interviews with Winds of Plague and Mark Hunter/Chimaira this week!)

If any of you have any questions or comments or have even gotten far enough through this to read it, e-mail me (Jenna@TheScreamQueen.com) and let me know what you think! Or if you have any ideas for what I should do with this blog, maybe add a special feature or something, let me know! :-)

Love,

Jenna

The Scream Queen